The Bully, the Bullied, and the Bystander: From Preschool to High School
–– How Parents and Teachers Can Help Break the Cycle of Violence
Barbara Coloroso
Harpercollins, 2009

Parenting expert Barbara Coloroso’s newly updated book The Bully, The Bullied, and the Bystander very much wants those three categories to blend together as readily in her reader’s minds as they do in her book’s title. She has written on this subject for years and is on firm ground when she reminds us that bullies have almost always been the victim of bullying, and that bystanders who don’t find some helpful way to intervene do their part to make sure the cycle of bullying continues.

Teachers and especially parents will find this book eminently useful. There are fascinating (if disturbing) sections on sexual bullying, verbal and blackmail bullying, and a great deal of good information on cyberbullying (a concept that seems at first nonsensical –- how can it be bullying if the victim finally has an ‘off’ switch? Coloroso is smart enough to realize that today’s kids find that option unthinkable, and she proceeds accordingly). True, Coloroso has her own favorite culprits for some parts of this cycle – the violent entertainment media comes in for its expected share of criticism:

Kids imitate the violence they see and hear. There is a clear correlation between exposure to violence and development and display of aggressive values and behavior. Kids who habitually watch media violence tend to behave more aggressively and use aggression to try to solve problems.

But what I found most interesting is her willingness to point a blaming figure at … well, all of us. Everyone who’s ever stood by and done nothing, turned a blind eye to rumors, failed to ask the right, embarrassing questions, and most elusively, failed to represent a better world:

It’s important that our children see us stepping in, speaking up, and taking a stand against injustices, be those injustices in the family room, the boardroom, the classroom, or the city streets. When we do more than give lip service to our beliefs, when we walk our talk, we model for our children ways to be that potent force in stopping the bullying.

Some studies show bullying in American schools at epidemic proportions, and certainly we have all mourned the prices it can exact in places like Columbine. Attacking the root causes is not only compassionate, it’s smart. Coloroso’s book is a potent weapon in that arsenal.

– Leah Lambrusco

Offspring movie

• Cast Away dvdrip

• Steel Trap full

Reality Check
Being There on dvd
Peter Abrahams
The Haunting Hour: Don’t Think About It video 30,000 Leagues Under the Sea trailer
HarperCollins, 2009

When handsome young football star (former star, actually, since getting his knee blown out) Cody Laredo’s ex-girlfriend Clara disappears, Cody figures he has a duty to go and investigate. He certainly has nothing to hold him back: once his dreams of an NFL future evaporated, he saw little reason to stay in high school and dropped out.

Cody doesn’t believe that Clara was lost on a routine riding excursion (the story being put about by the local police), and when he reaches the town in question, he’s immediately confronted by a cast of potentially shady characters that would do a Hardy Boys book proud. But it’s the differences between Peter Abrahams’ Reality Check and the usual run of teen-hero mysteries that make this book so gripping, so smart, and so completely worthwhile.

Jeff Dunham: Arguing with Myself download

You haven’t been reading two dozen pages before you notice those differences piling up. For one thing, Cody isn’t some sweater-vested suburban scholarship student – he’s big and tough, and he knows his way around fighting, as in fight scene between him and Clara’s current boyfriend:

No Man’s Land dvd

Townes was strong –– maybe not as strong as Junior, but much quicker. Cody didn’t even see the second punch, left-handed, which caught him flush on the jaw. A bell-ringer; but Cody had had his bell rung before, more than once, on the football field. The important thing was not to panic.

And for another, Cody’s not all that smart (as he himself admits), at least in the formal, academic sense. Eight years of President Bush may have given American readers a bad reaction to characters real or imagined (to say nothing of presidents, who are both) who think with their ‘gut,’ but nevertheless, that kind of character has a long and fairly noble history in American literature –– and certainly in American mystery fiction; Cody’s in some fine company. And he has one thing in common with his Hardy Boys predecessors, the most important thing:

150 Cartoon Classic [Popeye Vol. 8] movie

• Ghost Town movie

Cody gave up trying to see the future. He chose the truth, maybe because it seemed easier, or maybe – he got a sudden glimpse inside himself – because that was his default setting.

Abrahams’ book is fast-paced and engrossingly told, with lots of very sharp dialogue and a hero worth cheering whether he’s on the football field or engaged in murkier contests. Here’s hoping Reality Check is the first in a long line of amiable young Cody’s adventures.

—Leah Lambrusco