Truth, Justice and Underwear

As far as Superman is concerned, the three are connected. Deeply. And yet, it might take a five-year-old to explain. Why? Because most adults don’t dare spend more than a nanosecond thinking about it.

Good thing your very own J-Word isn’t most adults. That’s right. I looked at the redesigned Superman costume in Justice League (with the pseudo-armor plating and collar), actor Henry Cavill’s new Man of Steel duds (leathery, dark blue skin, with no collar), and the creepy jumper worn by Ultraman, Big Blue’s evil Earth 2 doppelganger.

None of these costumes sport red underwear. “GOOD,” snarls a chorus of jabronies, certain that the red moved their eyes crotchward. Artistically, however, the undies balance the costume. And they may also look like pajamas, but they make him one of us. They’re the Kryptonian orphan’s way of showing that saving the world is something we can all aspire to.

The new costume artist Jim Lee created, complicated by needless seams, is the uniform of an alien dignitary. It looks hard to move in (especially when Lee himself isn’t drawing it) and disastrous to fight in (honestly, seams invite ripping open, yes?). Worse, it makes the Boy Scout appear ready, at the wag of Krypto’s tail, to jump back in his ship and take off. The new costume doesn’t commune with children everywhere who are prone to emulate it. It doesn’t say, “Phew! I just trounced some giant creature in the middle of the city, but I’m cool to chat with you guys.”

The plasticized, McDonald’s-freebie look declares, “Step off, mortals. I just took out your space-trash and am in no mood.” Luckily, DC has decided to not completely ignore the friendlier look that’s worked for, oh–seventy plus years. Some digital stories have finally made it into comic shops as Adventures of Superman. This week’s first issue, though, is a mixed blessing akin to Lana Lang in a Red K choker.

The opening story, by Marvelites Jeff Parker (Agents of Atlas) and Chris Samnee (Daredevil), is a straightforward gem that proves old-school is frequently one of the best schools. Samnee’s sleek, joyous art puts a layer of grit on the style we loved in the Justice League cartoon. Parker meanwhile, sets Supes against a telekinetic run amok. Finding out Lex Luthor is responsible (and casually wants to amp up the chaos to further test his nemesis) is no less plucky for its predictability. This “retro” tale is clearly meant for all ages, which is wise on DC’s part. First-time readers should meet the archetypal Superman, not the chilly, Dr. Manhattan knock-off.

The second story, written and drawn by Jeff Lemire (Sweet Tooth) gives us a droopy-drawers Superman, with hair combed over a triangular head. This is what fans of his endearingly weird indie work might expect, but here, despite focusing on kids playing pretend, the approach seems forced. Colors by Jose Villarrubia, alternating between watercolor expressive and garage-sale flat, are the best part.

Finally, we reach a story that addresses the tedium under which most Bizarro appearances labor. This not-quite-villain speaks in opposites–and writers never seem to agree on how far to take this nonsense. “Bizarro wants to hurt,” apparently means he doesn’t want to hurt–or is that help? Anyway, writer Justin Jordan (The Strange Talent of Luther Strode) and artist Riley Rossmo (Debris) bravely send the pale, block-headed stooge on a mission into deep space where he’ll spend years photographing some planet. As with the first two tales, we’re treated to a world unto itself that features a Superman we thought gone for good.

But here comes the Man of Steel film (out June 14th). Moody and epic, it could be the bridge over which new and relapsed fans alike flock to pump cash into the comics industry. Or it could chase them away. It’ll be two weeks before we find out, and my red undies are staying on regardless.